Funny Quotes

40 Great Funny Quotes Ideas That You Can Share With Your Friends

These funny quotes are perfect for sharing with friends to brighten their day and bring a smile to their faces. Whether you’re looking to make them laugh out loud or just share a clever observation, these quotes are sure to entertain and amuse. Spread the joy and keep the humor alive in your friendships!

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Here are some hilarious quotes that are perfect for sharing with your friends:

Friendship Must-Haves: “Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.” – Unknown
Cookie Connoisseurs: “Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’ – Cookie Monster
Real Friends: “Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them.” – Unknown
Bullet-Proof Buddies: “I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head. But like in the leg or something.” – Unknown
Good Friends: “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.” – Unknown
Ouija Board Connections: “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.” – Betty White

These quotes are sure to bring a smile to your friends’ faces and remind them of the importance of a good sense of humor in friendships. Share them on social media, in texts, or via email to spread some laughter and joy!

Sometimes there are no words to describe how we feel about some people. Thank god. He gave us middle finger.

Families are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always come back together.

I Hope we’re friends until we die. And then I Hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.

A Clean House Is A Sign of A Broken Computer or No Internet.

Next time someone rings your home phone test their intelligence by replying with, “Hi, can I call you back I’m driving.”

Just got back from a meeting with the devil, I don’t want to sound over confident, but I think when the old bastard retires..the jobs mine!

If A Man Opens the Car Door for a Woman, There Are Two Options: Either the Car Is New, or the Woman Is New.

It’s OK to talk to yourself. It’s even OK to answer yourself. But if you argue with yourself and lose…well, now you got a problem.

I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date, with frequent sneezes.

Every time I see a dumb person, I think to myself.. “If only their mom would’ve swallowed”

Sharing funny quotes with friends can be a great way to lift their spirits and bring some laughter into their day. Here are some humorous and light-hearted quotes that are perfect for sharing with your friends:

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper
- A hilarious take on dieting and time management.
“My therapist says I’m afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting-around time.” – Maria Bamford
- A funny perspective on procrastination and ambition.
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
- Perfect for the friend who always has to be right.
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
- A playful excuse for those laid-back days.
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Unknown
- A witty observation about the rarity of common sense.
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
- A humorous look at indecision.
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown
- A classic food-related joke perfect for any friend.
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
- A light-hearted reminder to keep smiling.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
- A funny take on relationships and support.
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
- A humorous way to highlight financial responsibilities.
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown
- For those who experience late-night bursts of memory.
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing, Friends
- A perfect quote for friends who communicate through sarcasm.
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
- A funny and historical take on enjoying life’s pleasures.
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield
- A classic Rodney Dangerfield joke about marriage.
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
- A humorous look at the challenges of writing.
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
- A funny reminder of individuality and commonality.
“I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” – Harvey Specter, Suits
- For the friend who loves a good argument.
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
- A light-hearted quote that emphasizes the importance of laughter.
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- A humorous twist on the classic chicken joke.
“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea
- Perfect for friends who aren’t exactly gym enthusiasts.
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson
- A funny take on the struggles of sales.
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
- For friends who tend to forget their mischievous deeds.
“You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.” – Unknown
- A playful way to express friendship.
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott, The Office
- For fans of The Office and its quirky humor.
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
- A funny twist on dietary choices.