90+ The Best Dog Jokes That Will Make You Want to Hug Your Pup

Some of our favorite famous “The Best Dog Jokes That Will Make You Want to Hug Your Pup.”

Here are some dog jokes that I found for you: I hope you find these quotes inspiring! Do you have a favorite dog quote?

Dog Jokes

#1. “What would happen if you crossed a dog and a cheetah?
You’d get a dog that chased after cars but was fast enough to catch them!”

#2. “When you cross an aggressive dog with a computer, what do you get?
A lot of bites.”

#3. “How can you tell if you have a lazy dog?
He only chases parked cars.”

#4. “Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites”

#5. “When the dog sat on sandpaper, what did he say?
Ruff! Ruff!”

#6. “Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny?
All of them are short.”

#7. “Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
He knew how to paws for dramatic effect.”

#8. “What do you call young dogs who play in the snow?
Slush puppies”

#9. “What do you do when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower.”

#10. “Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang.”

#11. “Why can’t dogs work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.”

#12. “What is a pug’s favorite fall beverage?
Pug-kin spice lattes.”

#13. “When you cross an aggressive dog with a computer, what do you get?
A lot of bites.”

#14. “What looks like a dog, eats dog food, lives in a doghouse, and is very dangerous?
A dog with a machete.”

#15. “What do puppies and pages of a book have in common?
They’re both dog-eared.”

#16. “Why did the poor dog chase his tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet!”

#17. “What kind of dog should you use to help unlock a door?
An A-key-ta.”

#18. “In English class, why do dogs like conjunctions?
Because dogs love buts.”

#19. “I recently planted a pet tree, and it’s like having a pet dog except . . . The bark is much quieter.”

#20. “What type of dog is constantly aware of the time?
A watchdog.”

#21. “Where does a Labrador’s food go before it can be sold in stores?
To the lab for testing.”

#22. “What do you call a dog that can’t bark?
A hushpuppy.”

#23. “What did Darth Vader’s dog say to Luke’s dog?
Come on! Join the bark side.”

#24. “What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show!”

#25. “Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to become a woofer!”

#26. “When you put oil on a racing dog, what do you get?
Grease Lightning”

#27. “Why do dogs need a license but cats don’t?
Cats can’t drive!”

#28. “Where did the dog leave his car?
In the barking lot.”

#29. “What do puppies and pages of a book have in common?
They’re both dog-eared.”

#30. “How do you stop a dog from smelling?
Cover his nose!”

#31. “What do dogs order at movie theaters?
Popcorn.”

#32. “Why can’t dalmatians play hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.”

#33. “What did Darth Vader’s dog say to Luke’s dog?
Come on! Join the bark side.”

#34. “Why are dogs’ barks so loud?
They have built n sub-woofer.”

#35. “What did the Dalmatian say after he ate his yummy dog dinner?
MMM, that hit the spots!”

#36. “What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
​ ​ One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.”

#37. “Why do dogs love smartphones?
Because they have collar IDs.”

#38. “When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him?
Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs.”

#39. “What is a dog dentist’s favorite tooth?
The canine.”

#40. “I recently planted a pet tree, and it’s like having a pet dog except…The bark is much quieter.”

#41. “What does a dog stay in when she goes camping?
A pop-up tent.”

#42. “Where do dogs park their cars?
In the barking lot.”

#43. “Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to become a woofer!”

#44. “Why does a noisy, yappy dog resemble a tree?
It’s because they both have a lot of bark.”

#45. “Did you hear about the dog who was fined for delivering puppies on the side of the road?
She was given a ticket for littering.”

#46. “What is a Pug’s favorite fall beverage?
Pug-kin spice latte.”

#47. “What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.”

#48. “What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?
Their masters”

#49. “Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?
It was a dog and pony show.”

#50. “Why doesn’t anyone wants to work for dogs?
Because they hound their employees.”

#51. “What breed of dog goes after anything red?
Bulldog”

#52. “What breed of dog can jump higher than a building?
All breeds can, since buildings can’t jump!”

#53. “Why are dogs, terrible dancers?
Because they have two left feet.”

#54. “What do dogs owned by chemists do with their bones?
They barium.”

#55. “What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show?
A CAT-has-trophy.”

#56. “What do you call a magician’s dog?
A Labracadabrador.”

#57. “Why does my newborn dog never want to leave my side?
He’s in puppy love!”

#58. “What do you get when you cross a dog and a ballpoint pen?
Ink spots.”

#59. “What trick did the loaf of bread teach the dog?
Roll over!”

#60. “What do you call a dog that doesn’t have any legs?
It doesn’t matter! It still won’t come when you call its name.”

#61. “When you cross a frog with a dog, what do you get?
A Croaker Spaniel.”

#62. “Why do dogs tend to run in circles?
Because it’s really hard to run in squares.”

#63. “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you feel rich.” – Louis Sabin

#64. “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”

#65. “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.”

#66. “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.”

#67. “Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.”

#68. “Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.” – Roger Caras

#69. “The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” – Samuel Butler

#70. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings

#71. “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love. They depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart.” – Author Unknown

#72. “Where does a Labrador’s food go before it can be sold in stores?
To the lab for testing.”

#73. “Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost?
Because Frost bites.”

#74. “What do you do when your dog chews up your dictionary?
You take the words right out of its mouth.”

#75. “A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender straight in the eye and says, “Hey, guess what?
I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before?
Amazing, right?
How about a drink?##” The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Sure, the toilet’s right around the corner.”

#76. “What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster?
He was Terrier-field,”

#77. “Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple?
A New Yorkie.”

#78. “Which dog is the quietest?
The Alaskan Malamute.”

#79. “What genre of music do young dogs like the best?
Pup music.”

#80. “Why are dogs, terrible dancers?
Because they have two left feet.”

#81. “When you cross a dog with a cougar, what do you get?
A lot of trouble with a postman.”

#82. “What do dogs usually like to eat at the movie theater?
Popcorn.”

#83. “When you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster, what do you get?
A cockerpoodledoo!”

#84. “When you cross a Sheepdog with a rose, what do you get?
A Collie-flower.”

#85. “What do you call a dog that does yoga?
A Foldin’ Retriever.”

#86. “Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”

#87. “What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?
They barium.”

#88. “What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth!”

#89. “Why did the poor dog chase his tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet.”

#90. “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” – Mark Twain

If you find these Dog Jokes, Messages, Wishes & Quotes useful and lovely, kindly share them with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. Thank You for Doing so.