Funny Quotes

50 Funny sayings about life – Funniest quotes

Funny sayings about life My mind Always Killed Three times, Funniest quotes

funny quotes and sayings ” I may look calm, But in my mind I have killed you three times.” funny life quotes

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Funniest quotes about life

These quotes showcase the humor and wit of various comedians, writers, and actors, offering lighthearted takes on life’s challenges, relationships, aging, and more. Here are some of the funniest quotes about life from the provided search results:

On Aging

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” — George Burns
“I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.” — Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), Finding Dory

Funniest quotes about life

On Relationships

“Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?” — Lillian (Maya Rudolph), Bridesmaids
“My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” — Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), Crimes and Misdemeanors

Comical life quotes

On Life’s Challenges

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” — Benjamin Franklin
“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” — Charlie Brown

On Humor

“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” — Graham Norton
“I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.” — Anonymous

Funny wisdom about life

On Family

“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.” — Bob Hope
“What they could do to make it easier is combine the two, real estate and obituaries: Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.” — Harry (Billy Crystal), When Harry Met Sally

On Perspective

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” — Mark Twain
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ — Sydney J.

Funny quotes on life

Hilarious quotes on life

These quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face and remind you that laughter is the best medicine for life’s ups and downs! Here are some hilarious quotes on life, compiled from various sources:

I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
Most funny family quotes go well in cards, but this one is perfect for a poster for Mom.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
I’m sure wherever my dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.”
This funny family quote ends with a zinger and is perfect for the inside of cards sent to far-away family members.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” George Burns
Everybody wants to save the earth. No one wants to help Mom do the dishes.” P.J. O’Rourke
As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” Nora Ephron

Laugh-out-loud life quotes

Here are some hilarious and uplifting quotes that will make you laugh out loud:

“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud…I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.” – Unknown
“Laughter is the best medicine, unless you have a headache, in which case you should probably take some actual medicine.” – Unknown
“I realize I should spend much less time watching the news, and more time laughing. Reply … Funny, witty, and wise. I read them all, and went from a bad mood to a good mood. Thanks!” – Unknown
“Sometimes simply observing daily life provides enough funny quotes to make you laugh.” – Unknown
“God’s love is abundant for every creature. Look at the non-wearing, beautiful and costless but quality shoes cows and goats put on throughout life. Their clothes (hides) are removed, sold and make other expensive items.” – Unknown

Funny motivational quotes

Funny motivational quotes provide the best of two seemingly exclusive worlds: humor and feel-good motivation. Since humor is one of the best tools to make a message memorable, funny inspirational quotes can warm hearts and get people to keep going — but with a smile that sticks. A funny inspirational quote can strike some critical chords, too. Try this one quotes and it will leave lasting impressions.

Don’t worry. If Plan A doesn’t work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.”
There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.”
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” Will Rogers
We’re forced to think about how we ever succeed — usually, by failing first. This funny motivational quote seems disheartening, but in its play on common sayings.
A diamond is just a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” Unknown
This motivational quote is great for a card. It reminds someone that there’s payout to enduring tough times.
Trying is the first step toward failure. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
Peel back the layers of this funny motivational quote and you have a tool to kick complacency to the curb.
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’” Don Marquis

Laugh out loud life quotes

These quotes highlight the importance of laughter in our daily lives, reminding us to find humor in the mundane and to prioritize joy. They also emphasize the value of observing life’s little absurdities and finding amusement in them.

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