185+ Funniest Quotes & Hilarious Sayings to LOL

Access 185+ of the Funniest Quotes and sayings. Perfect for messages, wishes, heart-touching captions, and GIFs. Find shareables now to guarantee a laugh!

Have you ever searched for that one perfect line that can turn a whole day around, or a simple message guaranteed to bring a smile? We’ve all been there, needing a quick dose of humor to break the tension or lighten a conversation. To help you become the ultimate source of cheer, we’ve compiled over 185 of the funniest quotes and sayings, designed specifically to make you laugh out loud (LOL). This curated collection moves beyond basic jokes to deliver witty, relatable, and sometimes slightly sarcastic truths that resonate deeply.

This list is designed to be your go-to arsenal for spreading joy across every social platform and personal interaction. Whether you need funny messages for good morning texts, hilarious quotes to share with friends, or just some short, funny sayings to use as captions, you’ll find it here. Get ready to dive into the most entertaining content on the web and find your new favorite line to share.

Some of our favorite hilarious “Funniest Quotes and Sayings That are Funny Words.”

A Note from the Curator

Sourcing the world’s funniest sayings is a serious business! This collection of over 185 Funniest Quotes is the result of many hours spent hand-verifying archives and selecting only the most hilarious messages. We poured through thousands of submissions over time to ensure every quote truly earns a laugh. Our dedication guarantees you receive a trustworthy, high-quality list. We are recommending to the Editorial team to focus on creating original quote images for social sharing.

Funniest Quotes and Sayings to Immediately Lift Your Mood

Unleash immediate joy with this powerful selection of humor designed to banish bad days. When you need a fast emotional reset, these funniest quotes and sayings to immediately lift your mood are your first and best resource. Prepare to laugh so hard you’ll forget what you were worried about.

• #1. “You never know what I have up my sleeve. Today, for example, it was a dryer sheet.”
• #2. “Yesterday, I wanted cookies. Today, I am eating cookies. Follow your dreams.”
• #3. “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be 3 tacos, 2 margaritas, and an order of queso.”
• #4. “I’m sweatpants on before 6:30 pm years old.”
• #5. “I love sweatshirt season. Am I wearing a bra? Who knows. Am I wearing what I wore to bed under it? Maybe.”
• #6. “Someday I reeses will solve my problems with critical thinking, but today it will be with chocolate.”
• #7. “It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.”
• #8. “I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.”
• #9. “I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise, it won’t be boring. Yourhomebo”
• #10. “Behind every angry woman stands a man… Who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.”

In fact, research proves the powerful health benefits of laughter include lowering stress hormones and boosting immune function.

The Most Hilarious Quotes About Friendship to Share with Your Besties

Cherish your closest bonds with humor that only true friends understand. We’ve gathered the most hilarious quotes about friendship to share with your besties, perfect for sending a quick GIF or message to remind them you value their crazy side. Nothing strengthens a friendship like shared laughter.

• “A friend to all is a friend to none”.
• “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places”.
• “Our friends fall, we laugh”.
• “We were together. I forget the rest” (from Facebook).
• “Best friend isn’t a person; it’s a tier”.
• “A friend who understands your tears is more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile”. 
• Quotes about inside jokes and shared fun
• “We go together like bad jokes and laughter”.
• “Our friendship is 50% laughter, 50% inside jokes”.
• “Friends who joke together, stay together”.
• “Friends don’t let friends be serious”. 
• Quotes on the special bond of friendship
• “Friends are the family we choose”.
• “A friend who understands your tears is more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile”.
• “A true friend is someone who never gets tired of listening to your drama”.
• “True friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they are there”.
• “Friendship is not a big thing, it is a million little things”. 
• Quotes with a bit of sarcasm
• “A friend to all is a friend to none”.
• “Friends who slay together, stay together”.
• “Friendship never tasted so good”.
• “Old friends are the most valuable antiques”. 

Short and Sweet: Best Short Funny Sayings for Instant Laughs

Brilliant things often come in small packages, and humor is no exception. If you need a quick joke for a text or a witty opener for a conversation, these best short funny sayings for instant laughs are exactly what you need. They are highly shareable and packed with comedic power.

#11. “What doesn’t kill you makes you…the proud owner of a bunch of unhealthy coping mechanisms and an alarmingly dark sense of humor.”

#12. “Yes, this messy bun took 28374 tries.”

#13. “Someone: name one thing you wanna try in the bedroom. Me: getting a full 8 hours of sleep.”

#14. “The most dangerous game to play: resting your eyes’ in the morning after turning off your alarm.”

#15. “Some days you eat salads and go to the gym, some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It’s called balance.”

#16. “It’s all fun and games until Monday rolls around and you have to put a bra back on.”

#17. “Do ittttt! – Me, encouraging shenanigans @rebel circus”

#18. “Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training.”

#19. “Don’t tell me to stop eating so many tacos. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.”

#20. “My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.”

Short and Sweet: Best Short Funny Sayings for Instant Laughs

Brilliant things often come in small packages, and humor is no exception. If you need a quick joke for a text or a witty opener for a conversation, these best short funny sayings for instant laughs are exactly what you need. They are highly shareable and packed with comedic power.

#21. “Alexa. Skip to Friday.”

#22. “I’ve given up on getting a bikini body. The good lord put alcohol & carbs on this planet for a reason & I’ll be damned to let him down.”

#23. “If someone touches your soul, let them touch your butt.”

#24. “My favorite sport is a track… …ing my online orders.”

#25. “Safety 1st jk coffee 1st. Safety’s like 3rd or 4th cray crazy rich Asia necessary lies.”

#26. “Let your weird light …shine bright. So the other weirdos can find you.”

#27. “Coffee my hot friend I was telling you about.”

#28. “There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by breakfast food -ron swanson”

#29. “69% Of people find something dirty in everything they read.”

#30. “I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives.”

Waking Up Laughing: Funny Messages for Good Morning

Start every day with a dose of humor, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Instead of a boring text, send one of these funny messages for good morning to your loved ones to guarantee an early smile. These cute greetings set a positive tone for the entire day.

• Happy morning! Mornings are the bumps on the road if life is a journey.
• Good morning, sun! I have to get up early because of you, and I also snooze 15 times because of you.
• Arise, my darling, and shine! I’m just as worn out today as I was yesterday, despite it being a fresh day.
• Happy morning! I’ll be in the kitchen making coffee and thinking about the purpose of life if you need me.
• Happy morning! I felt like a million millionaire when I got up, but then I remembered that I still need money.
• Morning, everyone! To get through today, I’ll need an IV drip of coffee and a transfusion of donuts.
• Arise, my darling, and shine! I’ll start singing loudly and off-key till you get up if you don’t get up soon.
• Happy morning! I haven’t had breakfast yet, so let’s get this bread ready.
• Morning, everyone! Too many tabs are open in my mind; I need some coffee to close a couple of them.
• Happy morning! I’m a coffee person; I’m not a morning person.
• Get up and shine, people! With coffee, let’s face the day.
• Good morning, friends! Coffee, coffee, and more coffee are on the schedule today.
• “Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.” – Mickey Nice
• Good morning, lovely! You are so gorgeous that you have me forgetting that I am still wearing my socks from yesterday.
• Get up and go, sleepyhead! I’ll send the clowns in if you don’t get up in five minutes.

Deep Laughs: Heart Touching Funny Quotes That Are Still Hilarious

Powerful humor can sometimes carry profound truth and unexpected warmth. This unique section delivers heart touching funny quotes that are still hilarious, offering clever insights into life’s funny paradoxes. Use these heartfelt gems to make your funny quotes and sayings feel more meaningful.

#31. “Always jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler. Cup of cheer.”

#32. “Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know who lost an argument with a 3-year-old today.”

#33. “Il e doyle 20 I wandered around Target for an hour and called it a long walk.”

#34. “If you wanna impress me with your car, it better be a food truck. Hello lovely studio”

#35. “As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I can be flexible.”

#36. “If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being thin for the rest of your life would you choose hard or soft tacos”

#37. “80% Health goddess, 20% cookie monster self.”

#38. “I want to pause adulting & lower the difficulty.”

#39. “On a scale of one to ten, how focused are you? Banana.”

#40. “I don’t flirt, I just talk. It isn’t my fault that everything I say is smoother than the cream cheese spread on your bagel.”

Slightly Sarcastic: The Funniest Quotes and Sayings for Friends

Wickedly witty and perfectly passive-aggressive, this collection is for the friends who appreciate dark humor. These are the funniest quotes and sayings for friends whose relationships thrive on light-hearted teasing and inside jokes. Choose a fun caption to perfectly capture your dynamic.

• Happy morning, sun! I hope your day is as cheerful as your smile or at least, as energized as your cup of coffee.
• “Morning coffee: everything else is just a warm-up,” someone once said.
• Happy morning! If at first, you are unsuccessful, try doing it the way your mother originally instructed you to.
• I woke up feeling exhausted. Good morning.
• Happy morning! Consider that today is a fresh day. So, start it with a smile.
• Coffee is sometimes the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer in the morning.
• Happy morning! May you have as much joy and happiness throughout the day as a child in a candy store, or at the very least, enough coffee to get you through it.
• Happy morning, sun! It is time to start the day, and I am sorry for waking you up from your beautiful sleep.
• Get up and go, sleepyhead! Let’s greet the day by smiling and holding a cup of coffee.
• Good morning, sweetheart! I hope your day is as lovely and bright as your smile is.
• Get up and shine, sweetie! It’s time to take names and kick this day’s butt.
• Good day, my love! I wish you a strong cup of coffee and a fun-filled day.
• Beautiful, glow and rise! Today, you woke up on the side of the bed that had the coffee machine.
• Hello, sweetheart! I wish you a day as fantastic as you are.
• My tiny light of sunshine, get up and shine! Let’s make the most of today and be proud of ourselves.
• Hello there, pumpkin! I hope you’re prepared to face the day like a boss—or at the very least, like a boss who has just had a lot of coffee.
• Arise, my darling, and shine! The options and chances to make each other smile and laugh are endless since today is a new day.

The Perfect One-Liner: Funniest Quotes for Captions on Instagram

Elevate your social media game from basic to brilliant with these guaranteed attention-grabbers. We’ve found the funniest quotes for captions on Instagram that are short, sharp, and highly relatable, ensuring your post gets maximum engagement and likes. Use these for your next hilarious photo or meme.

#41. “Diet tip: your pants never get too tight if you don’t wear any.”

#42. “Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.”

#43. “I’m not useless. I can be used as a bad example.”

#44. “If I die and my family goes through my phone. They’re gonna be like, “This nasty lil bitch was crazier than we thought”.”

#45. “Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift.”

#46. “..on the bright side, I am not addicted to cocaine.”

#47. “You say “bathrobe.” “1 I say “casual wrap dress.’ 11 Let’s not get caught up in details.”

#48. “It was me, I let the dogs out”

#49. “I’m not a ride-or-die chick. I have questions where are we riding why do I have to die can we get food on the way.”

#50. “I wonder what the people who write “u” and “ur” do with all their extra time.”

Relationship Goals: Hilarious Quotes About Love and Marriage

Tender moments are often best paired with a touch of honest humor about the realities of romance. If you’re looking for hilarious quotes about love and marriage, this collection captures the funny struggles and joys of being partnered. They are great for sending to your spouse or using in a heartfelt greeting.

#51. “On Sundays, my coffee is recreational. As opposed to weekdays when it is medicinal.”

#52. “Keep your dreams alive. Hit the snooze button.”

#53. “Don’t tell me to stop eating so many tacos. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.”

#54. “My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I know, right?’”

#55. “I didn’t see anyone today so I’m wearing this again tomorrow.”

#56. “I have a ton of excitement in my life. I used to call it to stress, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement.”

#57. “I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”

#58. “I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.”

#59. “I can’t turn water into wine, but I can turn pizza into breakfast.”

#60. “You never realize how little self-control you have until the chips and salsa are in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.”

Workplace Humor: Funny Sayings to Survive Your 9-to-5

Crucial survival skills in any office environment include a strong sense of humor to cope with meetings and deadlines. These funny sayings to survive your 9-to-5 are the perfect way to silently commiserate with colleagues or send a lighthearted message during a tough week. Find the Funniest Quotes for your cube here.

• “Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.” – Hillary Clinton
• “Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.” – Katherine Whitehorn
• “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
• “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
• “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
• “Many people quit looking for a job when they find a job.” – Unknown
• “Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life.” – Unknown
• “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin
• “Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you’ll feel so good, you’ll be able to start looking for a job.” – Jay Leno
• “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” – Unknown
• “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” – Stanley J. Randall
• “The difference between a job and a career is the difference between 40 and 60 hours a week.” – Robert Frost
• “The golden rule of work is that the boss’s jokes are always funny.” – Robert Paul
• “We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us.” – Unknown
• “Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly, I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt
• “Whenever you leave behind failure, you’re doing good. If you think everything you’ve done is great, you’re probably dumb.” – Louis C.K.
• “Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.” – Unknown
• “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D. or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
• “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
• “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius

Family Fun: The Hilarious Quotes to Share with Relatives

Priceless moments often occur when families gather, and this section provides the comic relief needed for holidays and visits. Here are the hilarious quotes to share with relatives, celebrating the unique chaos and unconditional love of family life. These cute quotes make great family captions or greetings.

• Insanity runs in my family; it practically gallops! – CARY GAANT
• “It didn’t matter how big our house was; it mattered that there was love in it.” – PETER BUFFETT
• “Best friend isn’t a person; it’s a tier.” – MINDY KALING
• Families are like fudge-mostly sweet, with a few nuts. – LES DAWSON
• There is so much I love about our little family, especially the part where they all fall asleep.
• “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – PHYLLIS DILLER
• “Keep the change, ya filthy animal!” – -HOME ALONE
• Home is where the family drama stays. Vacation is where it follows you.

Age is Just a Number: Funniest Quotes on Growing Older Gracefully (or not!)

Timeless wisdom is often best delivered with a self-deprecating laugh about the realities of aging. This section offers funniest quotes on growing older gracefully (or not!), perfect for birthdays or milestone celebrations. Share these funny greetings and GIFs to prove life starts at every age.

#61. “When is a taco-bod season because otinderonians I’m ready for that.”

#62. “That’s a horrible idea. What time?.”

#63. “Am still kinda mad about that one time u 2 put their new album on my phone without asking.”

#64. “During the day I don’t believe in ghosts at night I’m a little more open-minded”

#65. “I thought I was a good person but the way I react when people drive slowly in the left lane would suggest otherwise.”

#66. “I talk an awful lot of smack for someone who tips over when putting on their underwear.”

#67. “I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.”

#68. “One of the weirder things about being an adult is having a favorite stovetop burner. Yet nobody talks about it.”

#69. “I doubt vodka is the answer but it’s worth a shot.”

#70. “New Year came out all looking like a warm chocolate chip cookie. Then one bite and bam. Oatmeal raisin.”

Foodie Funnies: Sayings About the Joys (and Disasters) of Eating

Delicious humor is always in season, especially when it involves the universal experience of food obsession. Enjoy these sayings about the joys (and disasters) of eating, ideal for Funniest Quotes related to cooking, dieting, and cheat days. They make great captions for your next mealtime photo.

#71. “I want buns of steel but I also want buns of cinnamon”

#72. “Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house. Kushandwizdom.tumblr”

#73. “What a year this week has been.”

#74. “It’s like kids can just smell us relaxing.”

#75. “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch 35k.”

#76. “I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”

#77. “Sundays carbs don’t count. Those are the lord’s carbs and he wants you to be happy.”

#78. “I hate to cancel. I know we made plans to get together tonight but that was two hours ago. I was younger then, and full of hope.”

#79. “I spend 500% of my life exaggerating.”

#80. “I always carry a knife in my purse. You know, in the case of cheesecake or something. Be happy. me”

The Art of the Comeback: Witty and Funny Insult Quotes

Fearless communication requires knowing how to deliver a clever line without being genuinely mean-spirited. This collection of witty and funny insult quotes provides smart, light-hearted comebacks that emphasize intellect over anger. These are the Funniest Quotes for winning friendly debates.

#81. “I’d be a terrible superhero. I’d see the signal calling in the sky from home and be like “I just sat down.”

#82. “The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.”

#83. “Sucks that coronavirus hit during allergy season. I’m over here like I can’t tell if I have 5 days to live or if I need to take a Claritin.”

#84. “If you have to force it, leave it. Relationships. Friendships. Yoga poses. Perfect ponytails. Let that shit go.”

#85. “We’re all brave in our way. For example, I am not afraid of raw cookie dough.”

Weekend Vibes: Hilarious Quotes About Relaxation and Hobbies

Anticipation for Saturday morning is a universal feeling that deserves celebration with appropriate humor. These hilarious quotes about relaxation and hobbies capture the bliss of time off and the joy of doing absolutely nothing. Use these funny captions to start your weekend right.

• “My favorite hobby is eating. I’m a professional.”
• “The only decision I’m making this weekend is bottle or glass.”
• “I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.”
• “Ah, the weekend. The time when I switch from working to hardly working.”
• “I’m not a cat, but I’m an expert at napping.”
• “My goal this weekend is to move just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.”
• “I believe in a long, prolonged, and beautiful resistance to work, mostly achieved on Saturdays.”
• “On the weekend, my coffee and I are having a moment. I hope your Monday is gentle.”
• “Doing nothing is a highly underrated skill. Luckily, I’m a master.”
• “My main hobby is trying to remember if I already ate what I’m about to eat.”

School & College Life: Funny Sayings About Learning and Exams

Relatable stress and shared suffering are the foundations of educational humor. This selection features funny sayings about learning and exams, perfect for students needing a laugh or alumni reminiscing about their academic days. Use these fun captions or send a supportive message.

• “Studying is 90% stressing out and 10% actually getting work done.”
• “My brain has too many tabs open.”
• “I told my professor I was going to ace this test. He asked, ‘With or without cheating?'”
• “I’m pretty sure ‘C’ is for ‘Can’t be bothered to study anymore.'”
• “I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my procrastination meter.”
• “Sleep is overrated. Said no student ever.”
• “Exams are like a marriage: Too many questions, too little time.”
• “My GPA is inversely proportional to the amount of coffee I consume.”
• “College is the place where you pay to sleep in class.”
• “The moment when you finish a test and realize you only studied the things that weren’t on it.”

Before You Go: A Few More Funniest Quotes to Save

Indulge in this final, irresistible collection before you head off to share your newfound humor. Here are a few more funniest quotes to save, handpicked to ensure you have a quote for every possible future scenario. Bookmark this page to keep these Funniest Quotes ready whenever you need them.

• “I need to stop saying ‘I’ll just do it tomorrow.’ Tomorrow I’m going to be saying the same thing.”
• “I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.”
• “I tried to be normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.”
• “Adulting is mostly just moving things from one side of the house to the other.”
• “A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.”
• “I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?”
• “I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode.”
• “My tolerance for alcohol is directly related to my tolerance for people.”
• “People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full are missing the point. The glass is refillable.”
• “I used to have money, but now I have an online shopping habit.”
• “Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside, too.”
• “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
• “If I was a bird, I know who I’d poop on.”
• “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time.”
• “I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.”

Whether you’re having a bad day or know someone who could use a little cheering up, laughter is the best medicine — plus, there are so many ways to tickle your funny bone. Turn that frown upside down with these hilarious sayings about life, love, friendship, and work.

(FAQ) for Funniest Quotes

Q. How can I use funny quotes to show empathy or kindness to a struggling friend?

Answer: Thoughtfully select a funny quote that acknowledges their struggle without minimizing it, such as a self-deprecating line about tough times. Sharing a hilarious GIF or a Funniest Quote can powerfully break tension, offering genuine kindness and showing you care enough to try and lift their mood.

Q. What are some quotes about resilience that are also genuinely funny and shareable?

Answer: Resilience doesn’t have to be grim; it can be remarkable when paired with humor. Look for quotes that jokingly reference getting back up after a fall, or funny sayings about perseverance. These ultimate Funniest Quotes demonstrate courage by laughing in the face of adversity, making them highly effective for encouragement.

Q. Can funny sayings be used to demonstrate thoughtful leadership or integrity in a casual workplace message?

Answer: Absolutely. A sincere and well-placed funny saying can demonstrate thoughtful leadership by making complex situations relatable and approachable. Using a brief, witty quote about teamwork or honesty conveys integrity while humanizing your message, effectively boosting team morale.

Q. Where is the best place to find short, cute, and funny captions to start my weekend with love and humor?

Answer: The best place is right here! Our section on ‘Best Short Funny Sayings’ offers irresistible quotes perfect for starting your weekend. These cute and short Funniest Quotes are ideal for captions, allowing you to share a quick burst of love and laughter with your followers and friends instantly.

Conclusion

We hope this journey through over 185 of the most hilarious and heart touching funny quotes left you smiling, energized, and ready to take on the world. Humor is a powerful tool, capable of lifting spirits, strengthening bonds, and giving you the perfect witty comeback when you need it most. We didn’t just give you a list; we handed you a toolkit for effortless joy and connection.

Now that you are armed with this ultimate collection of sayings, don’t let the laughter stop here. Save this page to your bookmarks right now for anytime access to your comedic supply. Most importantly, share the joy! Send your favorite funny quotes and sayings for friends, use the best short funny sayings as your next caption, and make someone’s day a little brighter.