30 funny Quotes about funny Sayings Finding a tomorrow, throws it

Funny Quotes about funny Sayings Finding a tomorrow, throws it

Best funny quotes about life “Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else!” short funny phrase

“I like long walks,
especially when
they are taken by
people who annoy
me.”
NOEL COWARD

“When in doubt,
look intelligent.”
GARRISON KEILLOR

“I’m sick of following
my dreams, man. I’m
just going to ask where
they’re going and hook
up with’em later.”
-MITCH HEDBERG-

ONE DAY …
I’M GONNA
MAKE
THE ONIONS CRY

“My friends tell
me I have an
intimacy problem.
But they don’t
really know me.”
GARRY SHANDLING

People say
nothing is
impossible,
but I do nothing
every day.

“Why do they call
it rush hour when
nothing moves?”
-ROBIN WILLIAMS

FINALLY MY
WINTER FAT
IS GONE.
NOW I HAVE
SPRING ROLLS.

“The man who
says his wife can’t
take a joke
forgets that she
took him.”
OSCAR WILDE

Well, you know what
they say: If you don’t
have anything nice to
say about anybody.
come sit by me.”
CLAIREE BELCHER.
STEEL MAGNOLIAS

I do all my
own stunts,
but never
intentionally

“I never feel more
alone than when
I’m trying to put
sunscreen on my
back.”
JIMMY KIMMEL

“I’m not
superstitious,
but I am a little
stitious.

MICHAEL SCOTT (STEVE CARRELL)
THE OFFICE

I followed a
diet but it
didn’t follow
me back, so I
unfollowed it.

If we’re not
meant to
have
midnight
snacks, why
is there a
light in the
fridge?

I’m sorry
for what i
Said when
I Was
hungry

WHAT DO YOU CALL
SOMEONE WHO’S HAPPY ON A
MONDAY? RETIRED!